i haven’t talked to victor for almost two weeks. in some ways, i feel liberated and independent. but in other ways, i feel sad and lost.

i’m not sure what he wants from me. he told me to postpone confronting him with how i feel (he had midterms and i had exams), but it just further proved to me how insignificant i am to him. and now he thinks i want to change him? i feel he’s changing me. does there always have to be this common excuse from him: “but that’s just the way i am.”

i wouldn’t change him for the world. all i want is that he has some sense of respect for me and to be there for me when i need him. but he has told me that he “can’t always be there for me.” i guess it’s good that he’s being honest, but it just makes me realize how wrong we are for each other. i wonder how long we can last without talking to one another…