i just finished taking my grad pics with my friends. i hate photo shoots… i feel awkward when the photographers want me to say weird things like “cheese” (or in the case today, “schwing,” with one person replying with “schlong!”). i hate smiling because my eyes get really small. i’ve always been pretty self-conscious about my eyes, as one of my friends has affectionately dubbed them my “banana eyes” because of their shape.

i tried calling victor ten minutes before i left for the photo shoot, but i couldn’t get a hold of him. so, i didn’t see him yet again. i feel somewhat bad in this case because even though we’re in a silent part of our relationship, i felt i should have asked him to come so that i could show him that he does play a role in my life.