last week i received a letter in the mail confirming my early and unconditional acceptance into ubc for the fall session of 2001. of course, i was overjoyed and thankful that i didn’t have to worry so much about math 12 anymore (just as long as i pass it), but just getting into university made me think about the responsiblities that i must take on. tuition, perhaps student loans, room and board if i ever decide when to get out of my house and finally transform into an adult… for pete’s sake, i don’t even have my driver’s license yet. how unmotivated am i? i’m so lazy that i cannot even take on a simple task and write the driver’s test in order to get my long overdue license. i’m officially a bum. i’m heading off to university to pursue a career in god knows what and i have “lazy bum” written all over me. somehow that doesn’t strike me as a promising sign.

and my family isn’t being very understanding about my fears, as trivial and as grand in severity as they are. they are still my fears about moving away or not moving away and going into this faculty or not going into this faculty. i hate it. i hate conflict in opinions and the conflict that incessantly carries on within my own head. i wish the future didn’t have to be so strategically planned. or perhaps it doesn’t? perhaps i can carry on all la-dee-da for the rest of my life and see where the wind takes me. god knows that’s what i’ve been doing so far.