following a frightening viewing of final destination, i was forced to think about death and if it is at all possible that we as human beings have no control over how and when our lives will come to an end. i know… movies are movies, but ideas are ideas. and this idea that i have no control over my own being scares me just a little. as individuals we pride ourselves in having self-control. just the thought that we won’t have it in the time when we need it most can send us into hysterics.

fate, destiny… i’ve always believed those things to be a crock of shit. i never believed that there was any set design and path for us all, nor have i ever believed that we were placed on this earth by some divine entity.

i have problems absorbing the bible. i have problems believing that we’re the product of adam and eve. their children were breeding with their own siblings and we’ve still turned out much like them physically. when i ask people of the faith this question, they tell me, “why ask when you have faith?” dude, we’d all come out retarded if we were the product of millions and millions of years of cross-breeding with the same DNA structure. the fact that adam and eve resemble us to a T makes me think that the bible has got some facked up analogies.

i’ve always posed these queries to more people of the faith. are events in the bible real? did they actually take place all those centuries ago? or are they merely stories told to the laymen at the time who wanted to know how and why things were? look at greek mythology—people consider none of it to be true—which we now take as almost fairytales. but back then the people absorbed and believed all of those pagan myths, because that was the only way they could understand how the world worked. the creation of the universe, for example, is scientifically impossible, what with the making of the heavens and planets and how the “big bang theory” makes more sense than any of this six-day-world-construction diatribe.

i cannot agree with a faith that has no relative bearings on reality. faith in something believable is one thing, but blind faith is like a compliant sheep being herded into a slaughter house.

if the beginning of us is so incredibly murky to me, the end must theoretically mirror that same confusion. and it does. death has always seemed like a distant thing that happened to your friend’s grandma or your neighbour’s dad—never to yourself. and when it comes for you, all the faith that you have in the world won’t be able to stop your heart from convulsing with fright, no matter how faithful you are to a religion that has always kept you in the dark. it is the dark which you have embraced so blindly, never knowing if you’d ever make it out into the light after it consumed your entire being.