ever begin to change in your room, but then get the feeling that somebody’s watching? ever realize that your fly was unzipped while alone in the house and wondered if somebody had seen it? ever make funny poses in front of the mirror marilyn-esque and feel suddenly embarrassed?

instinctive awkwardness like the ones i have just mentioned remind me of the truman show, where jim carrey portrays a man unknowingly living a life that is in constant watch by television viewers around the world. after experiencing that film back in grade nine or ten i was instantly afraid to get naked in the shower and make provocative expressions to myself in the mirror while trying on clothes. it’s also reached a point where i can’t even floss my teeth or blow my nose without thinking that someone might catch me in a humiliating situation.

i think it’s underlying emotions like these that get a lot of people scared to do what they would normally do if no one were watching. that’s how novice philosophers contrive proverbs like “dance like no one’s watching,” which should be taken into consideration at any rate. my constant fear of being noticed is so unbearable at times that i conceal anything that defines me as an individual.

perhaps i’m reading too much into such a stupid little movie. perhaps no one else but me watched it or ever remembers it to this day. but it did get me thinking, and not a lot of things do nowadays.