i have arrived at the conclusion that as much as people ask for your advice, they only want to hear advice that will make them feel better. it’s a finite detail but it is completely imperative that it exists. the paradox with friendship lies in the desire to have your friend’s honest opinion yet you hate the fact that is it completely objective, since it is not your own.

i had a fresh encounter with this paradox when my friend told me to give my thoughts about his recent breakup with his girlfriend. foolishly assuming that friends “can tell each other anything,” i told him that the reasons for her breaking up with him might have been for selfish and personal interests, and not the sonnets of “seeking independence” and “life’s unexpected changes” that she spouted to him. i told him that there was a possibility that maybe people break up chiefly as a result of a loss of romantic feelings, as if that’s so terribly uncommon.

the rest of the night he was cold to me and the next morning when i called him he finally said, “how could you say that to me? i was asking for your advice!” to this i replied, “as your friend, i really don’t want you to get hurt thinking that your relationship is some sort of fairytale when it’s not. you keep thinking that it’s worthwhile to keep torturing yourself over this; all i’m saying is that it might not even be worth it. it’s a possibility — that’s it.”

oh, bad me for trying to be realistic and help my friend from going insane thinking of how he can win this girl back when there might not even be a chance any longer. bad me for thinking of my friend’s well-being. bad me for replying to a fucking question that was explicity posed unto me.

so why do these friends even bother to ask your opinion when they clearly only want something that appears to have been taken from their own mind? i have no clue whatsoever. if you can’t take the heat, get out of the fucking kitchen. sometimes it’s really that simple.