the thing about eating crab is that the trouble is never worth the reward.

after the tedious cracking and biting and digging, all you end up with is a measly morsel of crustacean, which is never all that amazing anyway. plus, you have to factor in the annoyance of getting your hands dirty. the degrees of dirtiness depend on the sauce in which the crab is drenched. sometimes there’s none, but most of the time it’s in this creamy substance or black bean paste that gets under your nails and just the thought of sucking my fingers clean as a bone makes me gag. i take many trips to the washroom while finishing my crab just to wash my hands and mouth off.

i hate crab.

this is what i have learned from a full weekend of dining at chinese restaurants.