after a grueling day at work, and having missed my intended bus ride, i made my way home later than usual. i could already taste the earl grey tea and feel the pillowy softness of my bed. but fate would have it different.

i ended up breaking into a house. my house, that is. as i walked home from the bus-stop, i realized that i didn’t have a key on me and no one was home. i pondered the thought of sitting outside of my house and reading my book while waiting for someone to arrive, but then i realized how friggin’ cold i was — my hands were completely numb and i couldn’t even turn the pages. i stealthily crept to the back of my house, hoping not to appear as a burglar to my busy-body neighbours, and with some handy-dandy spy skills, i had managed to jimmy open my kitchen window…

only to have the security alarm go off at an insane volume, sending my ass to the concrete and my heart into cardiac arrest.

like an olympic athlete, i high jumped my way through the window and landed in the kitchen sink (ouch). i proceeded to the alarm, which was going berserk, and managed to calm the bugger down with some facile button pushing. i then flicked on the lights and noticed that i had tracked mud into the house (shit). i spent the next hour getting rid of the evidence to my sheer stupidity.

my parents arrived home shortly and stole any opportunity i had to drink my tea or sleep in my bed with their incessant demands that i wash the dishes and do the laundry.

so, how was your day?