so i’m watching television and i catch a commercial for the “collector’s edition” of there’s something about mary. now, this really irks me, because not too long ago i purchased the “special edition” of the same movie, figuring it was going to be the be-all and end-all of that particular farrelly brothers film.

first off, what you have to know about me is that i am an avid dvd collector. no vcds, svcds, or ripped dvds for me — no, i want the real, authentic dvds. so to spend $20.00 or so on a “special edition”, thinking that that version is going to be it — the final product of a movie adapted to dvd with deleted/extended scenes, audio commentary, special features up the wazoo — and have it not be is disappointing for me. they have to come out with a super, unique, limited, invaluable, über-cool “collector’s edition” just so they can tempt dvd collectors such as myself to go out and purchase the new edition when the one we initially deemed “special” collects dust on a shelf.

this incident is not only confined to there’s something about mary. the same thing happened with my usual supsects dvd. i bought the version that came out first and then, ‘lo and behold, out pops a “special edition” with featurettes galore.

and what about the lord of the rings: the fellowship of the ring dvd? my sisters and i enthusiastically run out to grab the highly anticipated first dvd and then months later (or was it earlier than that?) the “platinum series special extended edition” emerges from the retail aisles like a shark’s dorsal fin, seeking my undivided attention.

to add more fuel to this argument, i’ll admit that my sisters and i own a dvd copy of pearl harbor, that shitty movie with ben assface and josh hartnett. we purchase the original dvd only to face the ugly fact that a “vista series director’s cut” is on store shelves mere nano-seconds later.

i’m glad i waited out for the “vista series” version of the sixth sense, or i’d be stuck with the plain jane of the first dvd. and i know i’m going to be waiting out for the “platinum series extended edition” of the two towers, lest i cry when the less frilly original becomes obsolete.

now, if you’re thinking i’m insane or simply dumb-tarded, i won’t blame you. dvd collecting is the most ridiculous expenditure of money. but when you’re a homebody who needs something to do on the weekend, it is a most valuable source of entertainment. i suppose i’m just overly enthusiastic when it comes to the point of sale of my dvds, grabbing the first edition that grazes my fingertips. in that case, i probably am dumb-tarded.

addendum: thanks to those people who let me know that i’m not the only one with an “unhealthy” dvd fetish.