every time i’m supposed to see the dentist, i start up an intense teeth-cleaning regimen a few days before my appointment. it’s not only that my dentist is my uncle and if i have a cavity (heaven forbid!) i’ll have to hear about it post-appointment, as well; it’s also that i’m such an easily embarrassed person whose dental hygiene can also be a source of public ridicule and shame.

take yesterday, for example. i sat in that chair for a good hour as the hygienist scraped, polished, and nearly pulverized my teeth. and the whole time i felt embarrassed because i knew that she knew that i had just started flossing like crazy a mere three days before my check-up. i was simply a patient-poseur.

she then proceeded to treat me like a child and educated me on proper flossing etiquette, which i already knew, but i followed along dumbly so she wouldn’t suspect that i had known about this wonder-flossing technique for years now without ever actually putting it into regular practice. that would have only fueled further humiliation on my part.

hopefully i’ll continue the dental regimen i’m on for a lot longer than those other ones i’ve started and then stopped shortly after my dentist appointments, if only to strengthen my wounded pride.

post scriptum (another latin term i use to sound smart): review for big fish is up.