i’m the girl who…

• was caught with her zipper down in second grade and cried.
• had chinadoll bangs that started from the top of her head.
• for years believed that babies literally grew inside of a woman’s stomach.
• had a huge crush on zack morris and secretly desired to become kelly kapowski.
• fervently read sweet valley kids and babysitter’s little sister.
• had her eyelashes cut by her mother at an early age because her mother thought they would grow back longer.
• found her first porn magazine under her father’s nighttable and flipped through it with interest, later getting caught by her uncle and scolded.
• wanted lawry and jo together in little women and wanted amy to die.
• at one point in time thought arnold schwarzenegger was kind of hot.
• threw her unwanted and mouldy sandwiches, that her mother had made her for school, onto the roof so that crows and seagulls would get rid of the evidence.
• played with barbies until the age of thirteen.