sometimes i really miss the intricacies of high school life. the ability to walk home from school with the boy you have crush on, sitting at the playground and talking for hours on end, riding bikes through uncharted neighbourhoods and areas… i miss those times, which is probably why seeing and talking to people i knew in high school fills me with a bittersweet nostalgia.

in high school, everyone in your social circuit went to the same school. so, all of the petty fights, the tasty gossip, and the short-lived romances were experienced on a daily basis. things happened so suddenly and, just as quickly, things could change back. everything moved at such a fast pace that it made every experience feel brand new, every friend a potential enemy, and every kiss a grand romance.

nowadays, it all seems to move at a snail’s pace. time struggles to move because every second that ticks by is another moment where nothing monumental occurs, leaving your life that much more devoid of experience, painful or blissful. developing friendships takes a lot more out of you because you have to make time to get to know people, to meet them away from school or work, and to figure out if you can trust them. crushes tend to degrade into fleeting encounters with people who put butterflies in your stomach for that sole moment and who disappear just as easily and inexplicably.

i want that feeling of newness back, the feeling that every experience i have is shaping my identity in some way, that things can take a turn for the worst or for the better in the span of a day. i want to stand on the edge of the unknown. i want to be kept on my toes. and, above all, i want to feel that anything is possible.