I find that ever since I started law school—and more so now that I have some practical experience in the legal field—I judge everything using a scale of reasonableness. This is the standard used in areas such as negligence and criminal law by which people are found guilty for their actions. Was he acting reasonably? What would the reasonable person do?

In my relationships, I now consider whether the reasonable person would get mad over certain things—for example, whether it is reasonable to confront my boyfriend when something trivial is bugging me. If it’s unreasonable, I keep my mouth shut. When my parents get on my case about not adhering to their traditions, I can’t help but argue that their rules are unreasonable and, for that reason, I have no motivation to follow them.

But should reasonableness really be the standard used in personal relationships? Shouldn’t we overlook what would be the reasonable reaction sometimes and just follow our hearts? Somehow I don’t think Jesus only did what was reasonable. And Jesus is the man.