I met the doucheiest douchebags that ever douched last night. Next stop: Doucheville. Population: The douchebags from last night. High school may…
May 24, 2009 We’re Not the Same
October 16, 2008
Yesterday, a girl came up to me after class and said, “I’ve been meaning to tell you ever since the first day…
You’re Just Not My Type (Read: Ugly)
July 21, 2008
It’s not that women are attracted to assholes (as opposed to “nice guys”) because they’re assholes. It’s that the hottest guys tend…
Bloody Hell
April 9, 2008
I recently watched a commercial for “ultra-quiet” sanitary napkins (i.e., bloody cooch diapers) and became irate at the idea that women have…
damn you, sisqo
October 10, 2003
i saw a bit of an episode of degrassi (a really horrible show) and this fifteen year old girl was wearing a…
bowling for columbine
September 1, 2003
we may all eventually leave high school, but i don’t think high school ever really leaves us. here i am about to…
connections
August 9, 2003
is it just my group of friends, or does someone always know someone who’s throwing a party at a club every week?…
beer goggles
August 5, 2003
i know this sounds insane, but i’m starting to understand why people enjoy drinking. i never really bought into the appeal of…
bid me up, scottie
July 3, 2003
i know this is a bit late, but — vancouver managed to get the 2010 winter olympics over salzburg (!) and pyeongchang,…
social casualty
June 29, 2003
i realized today how much my social skills have deteriorated. when the other party says something i don’t particularly like, i respond…
fight the future
June 25, 2003
i woke up extra early today so i could register for next year’s courses. i find it hard to believe that summer…
no disrespect
May 27, 2003
just a rule of thumb when you own a business in canada: learn how to speak fucking english!@# i don’t think i’m…
epidemic
May 17, 2003
i cannot believe people in hong kong are now wearing designer face-masks. if asians die, we die in style. something i heard…
hollywood’s finest
April 29, 2003
only in a society as morally depraved as ours can people like hugh grant and r. kelly bounce back into superstardom after…
the independent woman (and other lies)
December 20, 2002
an excerpt from how to lose friends and alienate people by toby young:the willingness of new york women to enter what is…
yeah, baby, she’s got it
October 19, 2002
well, i’ve finally done it. i’ve joined the consumer-driven flanks of cell phone owners. i know it’s not a complete “necessity” per…
child abuse
October 15, 2002
today at work i was confronted with the most intolerable insolence… from a pre-teen. it’s times like this when i start to…
garden of delight
October 8, 2002
the social structure of this world, as i have come to know it, is much like the derelict garden situated in front…
her royal highness
October 7, 2002
so the queen of england has been in vancouver the past couple of days, dropping hockey pucks and whatnot (the canucks beat…
not again
September 16, 2002
i’ve ranted before and i’ll rant again. please do not piss all over the toilet seats! i don’t care if you need…
the torn identity
July 8, 2002
all my life, i’ve searched for a tiny little nook in society which i could remain in and stay true to. i’ve…
strange but true
May 20, 2002
have you noticed that a boob isn’t completely naked unless the nipple is showing? a girl can wear a teeny bikini with…
she’s come undone
April 17, 2002
i really get into my television shows. mostly i become enthralled by the WB shows, such as felicity, dawson’s creek, and smallville….
who to impress
February 28, 2002
i tried putting on make-up today. (doesn’t that make me sound like i’m five and playing with mommy’s lipstick?) i haven’t willingly…
capitalism
February 27, 2002
all hail the queen of shoe shoppers! i invested in another new pair of sneakers this week. this time they’re etnies. it’s…
worth fighting for
February 26, 2002
the other night, i watched hart’s war. although film-veteran bruce willis was in it and although colin farrell bared his ass for…
boundaries
February 10, 2002
after sorting through my extensive cd collection, i realized that i have a variety of music running through my stereo. depending on…
rose petal lips
February 9, 2002
i am currently reading the novel memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden. for the past two years i’ve taken it out…
gratuity
February 3, 2002
last night my friends and i had dinner at the cactus club cafe in vancouver. there were quite a few of us,…
biological hangups
January 19, 2002
are we all bound by one common urge to make ourselves look good? and for what reason? i thought long and hard…
as if!
January 2, 2002
why in the name of satan’s butthole are there so many little pubescent youngsters hailing lord of the rings as if it…
if you say so
December 18, 2001
do you want to know why the whole concept of moral relativism annoys me so? well, first let me define that term…
a matter of emergency
December 17, 2001
pseudo-intellectuals, please retract your very dull blades and put them some place where you won’t hurt yourself….
purplemonkeydishwasher
November 15, 2001
there are many tales in modern history and oftentimes they are inaccurately reported to descending generations so as to marginalize and/or ignore…
little girls in tight pants
November 5, 2001
i haven’t had much time to sit down and really delve into my site recently. i’m drowing in the most superficial of…
so what
October 21, 2001
am i not allowed to carry at least the semblance of self-esteem now? you know society sucks shit when you’re expected to…